Why I don't hover (Or, never interrupt peacefully playing children)

I saw a picture on Facebook the other day where a mom had tallied how many times her kids looked over at her while they were playing, in a certain timeframe. Her point was that if she had been looking at her phone, her kids would have felt disconnected to her. One of those guilt inducing, put down your phone posts. 

Can we just agree to be done with these types of posts/comments/judgments?

I am as likely as the next person to be taking advantage of a few quiet minutes of peaceful playtime and escaping into my phone. And that's ok.

If my kids are looking to me 28 times in 30 minutes, that's fine, but I do not think that just because they exist and I am their mother, I need to be actively looking at them every second, especially while they are playing peacefully. A fight breaks out? Sure, I'm there. They need help opening something or fitting in a puzzle piece? Yep. My job. 

But I think it is important for all kiddos, and maybe especially those with stay at home moms, to realize that they are not, in fact, the center of the universe. 

No one would blame that mom for throwing in a load of laundry or starting dinner. But sitting a minute and looking at her phone = BAD MOM. 

What if she had been reading a book? Or crocheting? Or catching up with a friend on the phone? ANYTHING really, just for herself and just because she wanted to?

When is there ever time for Mom to do something for herself besides the blessed time after the kids go to bed? 

What if we, as parents, actually let our kids see us doing things that we enjoy? Does that take away any of our love for them?

I do not have memories of my parents sitting and being at my beck and call when I was a child. I do, however, remember seeing my mom at her sewing machine. My dad in his workshop. My mom reading many books. My parents watching the baseball game on tv.

All of these things shaped me. They introduced me to the things that my parents were interested in, even if I was *gasp* not included in the activity.

Phone addiction is real. I'm guilty. I do not want to ingrain in my children's brains that Mommy spends more time looking at her phone than playing with them. 

However, I'll be damned if I'm going to sit there staring at them while they put together another puzzle. 

And I'm done feeling guilty about that. I exist, too, and I will continue to teach my children that.

 

Absolutely no one cared if I was in the pool with them. And it is glorious. I probably checked Facebook during this time. And no one suffered.

Absolutely no one cared if I was in the pool with them. And it is glorious. I probably checked Facebook during this time. And no one suffered.