What I like right now

I like the way the perfect song sounds. I like the ahhh moment of finding it. I like remembering the words. I like the way the words feel in my mouth, and the sound that fills my heart and brings me chills. I like the way certain songs make me feel, how they make me cry, or smile, or dance, or seethe with joy. I like the unexpected happiness of hearing an old song, one that brings back an old memory and immediately transports you there, stopping everything.

I like the way the sun comes in the window in the afternoon. I like warming my feet in it. I like the warmth when I didn't know I was cold. I like the bright when I didn't know I was dark.

I like the way my brain works, how thoughts twist and turn. How new ideas make me stop talking and start thinking. How an idea keeps me up at night, wakes me up at night, still hyper-focused on it. Not worrying- thinking.

I like the way my second cup of coffee tastes. The first isn't the same, it's the wake up cup. The second cup is the best. I like the way it feels on my tongue. I like hearing it brew. I like seeing the milk swirl in. I like the way the spoon feels when I stir. I like keeping it in my mouth and swallowing slowly.

I like the way the shower feels on my back. The stolen moments of peace. The luxury in simplicity. Washing away what happened and getting ready for what's next with a new face.

I like the way an afternoon nap feels. The confusion of waking up and not knowing what's happened. I like the fog of reintroducing myself to the day, beginning again, refreshed.

I like watching people do what they do best. Instead of jealousy, I feel inspired. Inspired to find my best, and to put it out there.

I like feeling uncomfortable when someone says something to me that I don't immediately know how to respond to. I like the change in myself that comes from that. I like seeing someone in a new light because of an offhand comment that pleases or surprises me. I like that people change all the time and I like figuring that out.

I like the way my jeans feel on my hips; the way my shirt silks across my stomach. I like when the scale and the image I see in the mirror matches. Good enough. Good enough to feel pretty damned good about. I like that I feel good about that. I like feeling sexy when I didn't know that I had forgotten how to feel sexy. I like the freedom in being a little older and not caring that I just said that I feel sexy. I do, and I like it. I like being a woman; I like the curves and the softness. I like feeling good in my body.

I like not knowing what's going to happen next. I like that anything could happen next. I like the anticipation. It's often better than the event itself.

I like the way good food tastes in my mouth. I like the drips on my chin. The guttural noises I make when it's just the perfect thing, the very thing I didn't know that I wanted.

I like the way the sun bounces through the trees on a trail. I like the quiet. I like the respectful nods of strangers that I pass. I like sitting quietly, just smelling, and watching.

I like looking ahead and only seeing promise. I like that I know myself well enough that I will make things happen if they don't happen to me. Quite frankly, I like knowing myself. I like respecting myself. I like knowing that this is the best me that my kids can see. I like that I am setting a good example. I want them to want to be like me. I like that I don't have regrets about the way I am raising them.

I like surrounding myself with people who want the best for me, who see the best in me. I like how they push me forward. I like how they make me see opportunities that I may not have seen for myself. I like how they like me just as I am. I like how we change in different ways and still come back to the same place, the root of our connection. I like how we lift each other.

I like peaceful nights on the deck, watching the stars. I like having honest conversations that last until 2am. I like how the words sound in the quiet, like we are the only ones in the world, like we are the only people who have ever existed.

I like the way a cold beer feels in my hand, or a nice red wine tastes in my throat. I like the satisfaction of having picked the perfect thing.

I like laughing at irony. I like hearing something that a friend would also think was funny and getting the giggles in anticipation of telling them. I like telling them about it and having them say, "Yes! Exactly that!" Or, remembering a funny story when I'm in the car by myself and still giggling over it. Giggling is the best, really.

I like that I may be halfway done with my life. I like looking ahead at what's next and just wanting to always feel exactly as I do right now. I like that this feeling isn't dependent on outside factors, but, scarily enough, only on myself. I like being in control of what I do and how I feel. I like that I can change those things for myself.

I like that I am lazy. I like that I am the master at nothing, but the lover of everything. I like that I can't pick one thing because there are just too many other things that I would be saying no to. I like dabbling in a little of everything. I like the experience rather than the mastery. I like the options.

I like having an idea, writing it down, and having it come out exactly as I'd intended. I like reading something older that I wrote and feeling amazed that it came from me. I like knowing that this is what I'm supposed to do. I like the way a good sentence looks, the way a few finely crafted words can change it all. I like acknowledging that this is my gift, without being vain. I like the certainty in knowing that it's not vain to say that, even though my craft is far from perfect. I like the way the words spill from me and the release that comes from that. I like the pressure of having an idea build up until I can sit down and let it out.

I like saying exactly what I want to say, and not worrying about the reaction. I like being my best, true self. I like being honest, with you, and with myself. I like being sassy, reflective, open, inquisitive, funny, serious. I like being whatever I am at the moment. I like the truth in that.

I'm pretty damned happy right now and I like it.